"I am you mother and your father, your friends and your soldier too." I am your inner child.

I fear that I may not be able to write so freely anymore in my blog. I am gaining my adulthood, but trying desperately to hold onto my childhood. How is that balance truly achieved? I suppose if I am going to talk about myself, I can do it here. but will I have the bravery? Will I feel the need? Will I be judged? Will I be suited to it anymore?

I have so much. I live a beautiful, perfect life. I'm not sure where I will go next, but that is what makes it so exciting.
I will be nineteen on the 27th. It is a long time coming.
Mom took me and a wonderful friend to see cirque du solie on Friday at the royal Albert Hall. It was a terrific night. And then on Saturday we went to Windsor castle and walked through the tureted towers in the sunlight. I loved it tremendously. And last night we threw a little dinner party for some friends of ours.
It is surprising how beautiful life can be sometimes.

I have an urge to dance in a beautiful cocktail dress to a loud 50's live band in a brightly lit room in the middle of London with a tall handsome man in a black suit. The windows would be high and look out over a gorgeous lighted landscape. The sound of the music would swirl around us mixed with the laughter and chatter of those people around us sipping champagne. My feet would float happily around the sleek wood floor. Just an old sweet song, keeps this picture in my mind.
I can escape here, even if I never go here.



I am entertaining the idea of doing some graphic novel writing. I found this comic while I was home that really made me feel the want to act on something I have been playing with in my mind for a while. The comic is called "The Dreamer" and it is exactly the kind of thing I would write for exactly that kind of audience. Of course I cant really draw, but I was thinking if I took some sort of short course on it, maybe I could begin to act on it.


I have no idea what I am going to be doing this summer. I have a few different ideas and leads, but it is all completely up in the air. I need to do two things. 1. I need to earn money. 2. I need to forward my career. (whether that be getting my promotional materials in order, or making new contacts, or getting involved in a production or two.


Me me me I I I I me I me me IIIIIIII ME. GERRRRRR!!!!!!!


Avatar has incredibly moved me. I cannot define everything that makes me love it. and I know my own reasons so I'm not going to outline it. But can I just say, if we get to choose where we go when we die, I will choose Pandora. The way the community lives is the most beautiful way of life. It is yet another thing that I can say inspires me more than I ever imagined it could.

"No one can teach you to see."